full moon: 10 days
Dear Mary.
There is no doubt that the inclusive nature of what you do, in partnership with engaging events, delivered by experts in their field with a penchant for caring about art and culture, does much to place some normality in my lost life, and no doubt in the lives of everyone present in the group. There were many intriguing objects at Gallery Oldham, a small, transluscent vessel came to my hands, from a plinth, which had bout nine tiny seed faces on the outside with one or two heads sprouting hair. Two or more indentationsj showed to have their convexed faces on the inside of the bowl, which appeared as though pressing onto amniotic womb sac. The curator passing mentioned she had bought it from a Polish artist called Anja, i think, at Bluecoat, Liverpool. I cannot remember the material matter, but it felt like ground cuttle fish mixed with fine grade paper pulp. An elegantly grotesque thing which i found timely and appropriate in terms of Oldham s original reason for being, an expanded farmstead to receive weary merchants en route from York to Manchester in tymes olde. My grandparents on my mother s side were from Oldham, and had a bungalow just off Henshaw Street, on Sunfield Road, where my sister and i stayed every week throughout childhood as our parents worked long, odd hours in nursing and police. I have fond memories of Oldham and the visit helped me remember lovely things associated with long passed family connections.
It is difficult to know what help to ask for at Henshaws when much of the emotional situations i have allowed myself to be in, mainly to protect and salvage the tiny family connection i had, have caused practical difficulties which are beyond, i think, the remit of what Henshaws do. i have to accept that it is me who has to do the work and accept that on a personal level i have not been handed a particularly easy way and that i need a lot of time to heal from the emotional wreckage i have wriggled free from.
i could look forward to perhaps being part of a new family but equally have learned and continue to learn to live in the interstice of things, which being quieter lends itself well to healing, appreciation and gratitude. A few days ago i sowed a miniature meadow for the butterflies and bees, small birds visit a table outside my caravan which is adjacent to an inside table where i sit much listening to their chirps. These are blessings i couldn t partake when in the anxiety of others which caused me much anxiety too.
My sister continues to send threatening phonecalls stating she is going to throw my stored things out, which i have not responded to as my sister already knows i cannot afford the 400 pounds costs for a man and van to transport these things from her flat in victoria, london, my incapacity and dla benefits status does not qualify me to apply for a social fund loan as being in receipt of income support is part of the criteria for qualifying for social fund loans. Much of my sister s anger comes via her diagnosed bipolar disorder, which alas is now being provoked by the presence of my things, which makes me feel sad but hopeless.
Thankyou anyway, Mary for your support, what you do for us via arts and culture brings much joy, and for this i am truly grateful.
Best regards,
kim
